Tag Archives: friendship

Reaching

I don’t want to go.

If tonight’s the same as the last two weeks, I will gulp some chocolate for courage, pack up my books, and head out the door, shoulders squared.  Butterflies will give way to June bugs bouncing around my stomach.  I’ll wish I could thwack them away with a satisfying “ping,” like I did off of the screen door last night.

Is it lions I’m facing?  A legal interrogation?  Long division by paper and pencil?  No.  Something sweeter and more terrifying—friendship in Spanish.  I joined a bible study on Wednesday nights with some of the tias that work at the children’s home.

In English, this would be easy.  Vulnerability and the things of the spirit are familiar waters in the ship of my mother tongue.  But the language barrier isn’t just a wall that you peer over to the people on other side.  It’s also a burqa that you wear, a box that traps your personality.  You can only express the part of yourself that you have vocabulary for.

2015-01-07-1309 crop cdocFor several years now, I’ve heard of praying for a word for each calendar year, a heart-focus from the Lord to press into.  At the beginning of 2015, I flicked the question out to my Abba Father like a shrug: “Got anything for me this year?”  The answer was immediate.  Reach.  

Reach?  21 months into our new life serving in Costa Rica, wrapping up the homeschool year, and poised to begin the freefall of the busy summer team season, I would have chosen a different word.  How about “breathe” or “rest?”  “Be still and know” sounds good, too, although technically, it’s four words.  No.  It’s reach.  Shoot.

I know why He’s calling me out.  There’s been a bit of a turtle act going on lately.  It’s easier to smile and nod when the RPM of the conversation zooms past my brain’s capacity to distinguish individual words.  My language skills build Lincoln Log bridges that can’t quite support the weight of the heart over the communication gap.  I can navigate the grocery store, find my way around town, and hold the newly arrived baby twins at Hogar de Vida.  I’ve mastered the meet & greet banter with Sunday-morning-fellowship-hall flair.  Those things have grown comfortable, even ordinary.

But friendship?  That’s going to take some reaching.

And yet, isn’t that exactly where my day-to-day living is malnourished?  Isn’t that precisely what the Lord called me to this country to do, to be?  More than baked goods, team dinners, and cheerful pleasantries, God wants me to share my heart with the people here.  He is encouraging me to grow to be able to support their dreams, understand their struggles, and experience their joys.  To be able, not only to broadcast my love, but to receive theirs.

2014-11-29-0899 cdocSo I will stretch my courage to say new things beyond my grammar’s beaten path.  I will press on in the listening to grasp the meaning of the flying words.  I will exchange embraces and seek out expressions to add to their value.

I will face the June bugs.  I will reach.

“I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers.  May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done.”  Ruth 2: 11b-12 NLT

 

 

Change in the Air

We can all feel it.  A desire to put away the grammar books and draw out conversation instead.  A focus on the new home to be settled into, and release of that forever-ambition to clean the light fixture in this one.  Heartstrings tug as we do life alongside language school friends, knowing there are only a few more runs to catch together, only a few more cups of tea shared face to face.  We have four weeks left of walking the same sidewalks, shopping the same Saturday morning farmer’s market.  Being newbies together in a foreign language/culture/country has forged some beautiful connections.

And yet, this was never the end goal.  The common thread of learning Spanish has woven us together for a time, but different expressions of Christ’s love in different countries form the ultimate tapestry.  As Aragorn said to Arwen in the movie version of The Two Towers, “This is a dream.”   “Then it is a good dream,” she answered.  That is just what this time has been.

2014-04-18 Atenas House 009 colorIt’s hard to leave.  All of the questions we set aside to embrace Spanish have risen in a new tide.  Will we like our new home?  How long will it take to learn the ropes there?  Will we be good at our area of ministry?  How will our kids adjust?  All of the now-familiar paths and places will make way for another round of breaking trails—marking out the way to the grocery store, orienting to new unmarked streets, learning how to pay bills, finding the bank/doctor/dentist/hospital/pharmacy.  The structure of our days will change again.  For our family, school will move back home as most of Matt’s work transfers out of it.  This season of having my best friend by my side all day as study partner, navigator, and negotiator will come to a close.

I have felt the stress, had it nudge me out of bed to be prayed over and sorted through.  And to be honest, I have it easy.  I have a house already rented and most of its furnishings gathered.  We’re heading to a town I’m familiar with, where we already have relationships and a working knowledge of our ministry home.  My heart goes out to braver friends leaving for new countries and ministries that they’ve barely met.  If my transition is difficult, theirs is heroic.

Being a missionary doesn’t necessarily mean you are good at change, it means you keep taking steps forward until the Lord brings you out on the other side.

Breaking break for the first time in our rental house.

First lunch in our rental house.  With PB&J, who needs furniture?

Each change has a price tag, some easy, some dearly bought.  But this path of following Jesus is also blessed with celebrations along the way.  Friendships made that will last a lifetime.  Our sweet little kitchen, waiting to be filled with the smell of baking bread and meals for mission teams.  The 12 gallons of paint in our laundry room, ready to color a house into home.  Fun Spanish conversations like we had with the paint reps, explaining the English names of the colors–“What is bisque anyway?”   Little fingers and toes to hold during morning devotions.  Smiles to charm out of shy faces, laughter to share with outgoing ones.  Connecting with people from around the world with a common heart to live for the Lord.

This transition is both tender and exciting.  We are about to step into the dream that the Lord gave us at the very beginning of this journey.  Language school has been a challenging, yet beautiful time of preparation.  May the Lord bless us all as we go forward to serve, wherever He may lead us.